"Sad Birthday Party"

       On May 31, 2000, I stood at the stove in my parent's house cooking stir fry with one eye on the television, peaking at vibrant blue Malaysian waters off the coast of Borneo Island. It was the season premiere of Survivor. Outwit. Outlast. Outplay. The adventure intrigued me. By the season finale, when Susan Hawk rips both Richard Hatch and Kelly Wigglesworth new assholes, we were hooked. My parents and I have watched ever since, routing for the more-family-oriented contestants. When I officially moved to Portland three and a half years ago, I started taking notes as I watched each episode to email to my Mom. That way, we can still bond over the show. This season, Survivor: Heroes vs. Healers vs. Hustlers, I will be sharing my thoughts.

+ Survivor!

+ Oh, it’s Chrissy, not Sherri. lol. She’s sneaky! Kinda like her.

+ Still don’t like Alan. Tell us you “don’t wanna go back to Tribal” one more time. I heard you the first 3. No one wants to go to Tribal, moron.

+ Ben “This crew is like old paint. Cracked everywhere.” The Core 4 is no More! I’m so glad they see-through Alan’s BS.

+ I love these Fijian beaches! Love the word “Fijian” too!

+ This Simone girl is interesting, to say the least. From being afraid of a bug, to gutting a fish all in one scene!

+ I was gonna call her “weird” then that guy beat me to it! haha

+ This Joe guy is Idol obsessed! Finding it is one thing. Using it correctly is another story. I don’t trust him with it. Seems like Cole does though.

+ Ahaha! The dykey woman chasing the red head with the crab is hilarious! He screams like a girl. As she wipes his spit off her face! Haha!

+ I love that the puzzle is made up of all the places Survivor has filmed! (note: I said this before Jeff pointed it out)

+ Too many sakes!

+ I can’t put my finger on Simone. On the beach, she’s an idiot. In her interviews, she seems pretty smart.

+ Why has there never been a British person on the show?

+ I hope Patrick (red head) stays and Simone goes. It would be stupid to get rid of Patrick.

+ Wow. Skinny guy just said it best before the walk to Tribal. Gotta give him more credit.

+ Oh Jesus. He just lost me with the “birthday party” metaphor bullshit.

+ I’m on Lauren’s (Fisherman) side. “More like a funeral.”

+ Patrick: “Sad birthday party.” haha!

+ Simone is way weirder than Patrick.

+ Patrick’s teeth are amazing.

+ We’re deff gonna see the skinny guy on another challenge.

+ If Simone says “like” one more time… she’s out. And she talks so much nonsense you can hear the choppy editing in between her sentences.

+ Oh THANK GAGA!!! Bye Simone! She was fucking obnoxious.
+ Simone: “I’m sad but I’m living with it.” haha! They edited her to be a weirdo!